Nora:... Terwald, fifteen years ago, when I left here, the first thing I did - because I had nothing: no home, no family, no money - was to go and live in a boarding house, and because I had no real skills except sewing I did the same and made money ...
Nora:... Terwald, fifteen years ago, when I left here, the first thing I did - because I had nothing: no home, no family, no money - was to go and live in a boarding house, and because I had no real skills except sewing I did the same and made money by sewing and saved little by little because what I really wanted to do for the first time in my life was to be myself. Therefore, when I saved enough money, I left the boarding house and went to live in the north. And even though I was standing on my own feet, whatever I did, whatever decision I made, from what I ate to the time I went to bed, I could always hear a voice in the back of my head that sounded like yours or my father's or the spiritual fathers or any other person I knew - always. I had it in my head as if I had to somehow arrange to check with that person and find out what his opinion was, even though that person was not there, my thoughts belonged to that person. And so while it was like that, I decided to live in silence, not to talk to anyone and not to let anyone talk to me - and I lived like this until I couldn't remember what other people's voices sounded like - until there was nothing but my own voice or something. I was sure that it must be my voice, I did not hear any other voice in my head. It's been almost two years, two years of silence. And the moment I could hear myself, I could think about what I wanted that had nothing to do with what other people wanted. It's really hard to hear your own voice, and every lie you tell makes it harder to hear your voice, one of the things we do a lot is lies; Especially when what we want from other people is to love us. This is how I realized that I am the best of myself if I am with myself.
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